DEALING WITH WORRIES - SUPPORT FOR PARENTS
It’s natural for children to feel worried from time to time — for example, about a test, a change in routine, or starting something new. But when worry becomes frequent, overwhelming, or starts to interfere with daily life, it may be a sign of anxiety.
This page helps parents understand the difference between everyday worry and anxiety, why avoidance can make things worse, and what you can do to support your child.
Worry Vs Anxiety: What's the difference?
Worry
Happens in response to a specific event or situation
Usually temporary
Can motivate problem-solving
Doesn't significantly interfere with daily life
Anxiety
Can occur even when there's no obvious reason
Ongoing and persistent
Can cause avoidance and distress
Starts to impact sleep, school, appetite or behaviour
🙋 What Anxiety Might Look Like in Children
Avoiding school, friends, or activities they once enjoyed
Complaining of headaches or stomach aches with no medical cause
Difficulty sleeping or eating
Reassurance-seeking: constant “what if?” questions
Tantrums, tearfulness, or becoming very quiet
Panic symptoms: fast breathing, racing heart, shaky hands
⚖️ How Avoidance Affects Anxiety
Avoidance is a natural instinct — if something feels scary, we try to stay away. But in anxiety, avoidance feeds the fear and makes the anxious feeling stronger over time.
“When a child avoids something, they don’t get the chance to learn they can cope.”
🔄 Avoidance Cycle:
Situation triggers anxiety
Child avoids it (e.g., stays home from school)
Feels temporary relief
Anxiety grows stronger the next time
Instead of removing the fear, we need to help children face it gently, with support and encouragement.
🛠️ How Parents Can Help
🧠 Talk About Anxiety
Use simple language: “Anxiety is like a smoke alarm — it goes off to protect you, but sometimes it’s too sensitive.” Let them name their worry and externalise it: “Worry is trying to trick you again!”
🪜 Face Fears in Small Steps
Break down a situation into manageable parts Celebrate small wins: “You stayed in class for 10 minutes — that’s a great start!”
🫶 Reassure With Support, Not Avoidance
Avoid saying: “You don’t have to go if it’s scary” Try: “It might feel hard, but I’ll help you through it. Let’s take it one step at a time.”
🌬️ Teach Calming Strategies
Deep belly breathing (smell the flower, blow out the candle)
Grounding techniques: 5 things you see, 4 you can touch, 3 you hear... etc.
Use calming activities like colouring, nature walks, or quiet reading
📅 Keep Routines Predictable
Structure helps reduce uncertainty Prepare your child for upcoming changes or transitions